Letters to Michael
by Silvercrystal
Summary: Maria is dead. Michael is mourning. Made up of Maria's letters and Michaels thoughts. Please R&R.
1. Default Chapter

The fight was over but the hurt had just begun for Michael. Maria's death during their fight with the skins had killed his heart. Now all he had left was a shoebox full of letters, which she had told him to read, but he didn't know if he could face it. Could he go through the pain again? Should he open the wounds again? It was Maria's last wish so he thought it would be best to open it. Sitting on the cliff near where the pods were hidden, he lifted out the first letter and started reading.  
  
Dear Michael,  
  
O.k. this seems weird. I just thought you should understand how much I love you. These letters begin from the day we first kissed. Since your reading this I guess I'm dead. Please don't cry for me. I fought loving you, fighting for you, knowing the risks. I took these risks because you mean so much to me. I don't want you to live the rest of your life blaming yourself for my death. Don't think of me as dead, I hope to live on in your heart. I love you spaceboy, always. I'll always be by your side. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for letting me in your heart. Thank you for teaching me how to love. I want you to know my heart like I knew yours. Please read the rest of these letters. I know they bring you pain but just think of it as my last request.  
  
Luv you always  
  
Maria  
  
A tear rolled down his cheek and fell on the letter smudging Maria's name. He could feel Maria's presence near him; he longed to hold her again. He wanted to hear her complain about how useless he was just one more time. It hurt knowing that he would never hear her voice again. 


	2. Chapter 2

Here's chapter 2 of my fanfic. I'm gonna take all the key things which happen between Michael and Maria in seasons 1 and 2. I'm then gonna make up what happens after that. I realy wanna show how Maria matures through their time together.  
  
He didn't know if he could take reading anymore, thinking about he realised that the hurt would be less if he read them all in the one go. It would feel as though she was talking to him for that one day.  
  
Dear Michael,  
  
OH MY GOD! YOU KISSED ME! First, we end up in a motel room together and then like two days later, you are kissing me. It must seem strange, me writing this. Actually, this is the first time I've ever done this. I wanted to tell you how I felt but I don't feel confident enough to tell you anything yet. I felt we had this strange connection in that motel room you know as if we understood each other, that on some level you could be my soul mate. Maybe we just kissed on the heat of the moment, you know out of...tension? But it felt like more to me, it was the best I'd ever been kissed actually. Could you be the one? It that possible? How is it that being paired with you for some stupid assignment led to all this confusion? I'd die if you found this or if Liz found it. You'll probably try to keep out of my way tomorrow at school but I'll find you. I need to know if that kiss meant something to you or if it was as you said ` just to calm me down'. I need to know but I have this  
feeling that it'll take me a while to find the answers to my questions. You are one complicated guy Michael Guerin. How did I manage to get myself in this position? AAAAHHHHH!!! I need to know the answers.  
  
Maria  
  
Michael remembered that first kiss. It was the beginning of the best days of his life. He felt the connection that Maria had felt. He realised now that he had kissed her that day because he was attracted to her, not because of the tension. That kiss was the foundation of what had come to be, without it he wouldn't have Hope. He would have killed himself after Maria's death if it wasn't for Hope. The only thing that kept him alive was Hope. Hope was now his everything. 


	3. Chapter 3

Dear Michael,  
  
What am I thinking? Why have I gotten so involved with you and your alien posse? This is entirely your fault. I don't get why you've been avoiding me. My theory is that that kiss meant more to you than your letting on. Why do you have to have such a bad attitude? You really need someone to squash that ego of yours. I guess I was wrong about you. We won't have something great like Max and Liz will. It's so obvious the two of them love each other, look at us: one kiss led me to believe that we had something. I know I can be pushy but that's no reason to avoid the subject o f us totally. Things have been crazy lately, you know with Max ending up in hospital but that's no excuse for the way you've been treating me. The only reason I act so bitchy towards you is because I like you, shame you won't know that though. It's a shame you'll never actually know how I feel about you if you keep avoiding me. You'd think you had never talked to a human girl before. I've gotten myself to  
worked up about you, I ought to stop writing to you. It's not as though you'll ever get to read it.  
  
Maria  
  
Michael could recall how he had tried to avoid her. He was never good with girls. Being lonely for so long had left him unsure about many things, love being the main one. He could remember how sometimes he wished he had someone to hold, someone to love, but not being human had stopped him from getting this. His life had left him with no belief in love, if it wasn't for Maria and his friends he would now be a lonely heartless man. Maria had brought a bright warm light into his life, which had awakened his heart and allowed him to love and show his feelings. She had been the fire which thawed his heart out of the ice in which it had become stuck for so long. Around her he felt not only wanted but needed. 


	4. Chapter 4

NOTE: SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG. I'VE HAD LOTS OF SCHOOL WORK.  
  
Dear Michael,  
  
How can you do this to me? We almost had something and then you go and tell me that you don't get intense. Letting someone in could do you some good, you know you don't need to be alone all the time. I can't believe that I let myself get sucked into a fantasy, how could I let you kiss me again. I should have known that you would break my heart, why would I want to get involved with an alien in the first place? What am I crazy? Yes, I'm crazy, I need my head examined because even after what you did to me I want to be with you. Kissing you, it felt so good. I keep telling myself that your evil for hurting me, especially at a party, but my heart won't accept it. I don't know what we have, it may be true love or may not be, but I want to know. You're gonna avoid me even more now and it'll hurt like hell. Why am I letting you get to me so much? How is it that someone I've known for so little time can hurt me so badly? I wish you would at least try to open up, try to show you're feelings. Whatever you've been through in your life must have hurt you real bad for you not to want to open up. I want to help you, even thought I won't always show it. I will help you.  
  
Maria  
  
  
  
The tears started again. He had hurt her so badly but she still wanted to be with him. She could have easily given up on him and found someone else but she didn't. she waited until he was ready to open up. Maria had always loved a challenge and that's what he was to her. The memories had started to come back so strongly. Everything was as strong as ever in his mind, her voice, the smell of her hair, the angry looks she gave him when he said something wrong, the sound of her singing Hope to sleep. They had taken Maria away from him but her memories lived in his heart. Her spirit and looks were already starting to show in Hope. 


	5. Chapter 5

Dear Michael,  
  
I nearly lost you. I can't believe I that I nearly lost you. I was such a bitch to you, I can't even forgive myself. It was scary seeing you like that you've always been so strong and then all of a sudden you're helpless. I'm starting to think that we'll never be together. Isabelle is so possessive of you, how can me, Liz and Alex possibly fit in with you guys. I mean you're all so close and it'll just seem weird, maybe its better that way, maybe human – alien relationships weren't meant to be, what then? Would you break the rules for me? What if Isabelle was right and you don't need strangers? Maybe all you need is her and Max. You guys came together and I guess you'll always be together. But today made me think, you came back from the coma thing you were in with the help of not only Max and Isabelle but also the help of me, Liz and Alex. I know I shouldn't say this with you nearly dying and all but, I'm angry with you. You came out of the coma and went straight to Max and Isabelle, how about the rest of us who helped to bring you back. You didn't even say thank you. Is that you're way of saying that you didn't need us? Me? I know I sound like a selfish bitch but I'm confused, angry, hurt. I don't know what's right and what's wrong anymore. A few weeks ago the only aliens I'd seen were the ones my mom makes and all of a sudden I'm in love with an alien, and I don't mean E.T. Didn't see that one comin.  
  
Maria  
  
Michael knew he shouldn't have ignored her. He never knew how deeply she felt about him or how sensitive she was back then. His natural instinct was always to go to Max and Isabelle, he never meant to hurt her. There was so much that she hadn't told him. He was scared when he went into the coma but he could still remember to this day how he felt when Maria kissed him. She was another person who loved him, another reason for him to have faith in everything he did. 


End file.
